Realistic expectations

I woke up this morning and I felt the need to write down all the thoughts that I have in mind, before they fly away.

Recently, I had a talk with a mom to be and the discussion came to the first days at home with her newborn, about her vision, about how she imagines the everyday life with her baby. After I told her about how it will possibly be, about how much a newborn wants to be on her, about the fact that newborns need time, weeks to realize the transition from the womb to the outside world and that all this is absolutely normal behavior for a new baby, I saw the doubt in her eyes. Her body language sent me signs telling me “No, you are talking about some needy babies, this is the exception, the baby you are talking about, is not my baby”.

And that is not the first time I have such an impression from mamas to be. I often find that as a new mom, you can’t visualize how your life will change, you can’t imagine.

Moms of even very young babies, will nod and often smile bitterly, giving you a look of solidarity, when the discussion comes to the luxury of having an uninterrupted five-minute shower. The moms to be are just listening, I can see the thought in their heads, they unconsciously believe that what we are talking about is the exception.

And I’m wondering: in a society where we are totally disconnected from motherhood until we become mothers ourselves, how can we make future moms understand, prepare for what is to come? How can we create this connection again, so that they have realistic expectations? Realistic expectations help us accept a situation. And if we accept a situation, even in theory for a start, we can get better prepared, we can create our support network, and in the end, we can be able to enjoy it. And if that happens, maybe a day will come, when our children will become parents, that the society’s perception about postpartum will shift, from something negative to something natural, positive and supported.

Woman breastfeeding her baby

I totally understand the dear mom. I was probably like that too, although I can’t remember anyone preparing me about that. I thought my life with my baby would be the life I was used to, just with a baby! But this is not realistic! For many reasons! First of all, your body needs to recover. Being pregnant, growing a little human in your bod and then birth, bringing this little human in the world, is a huge thing! It’s a miracle! We tend to underestimate it, but it really is a miracle! And a hard job. So, the body needs time to adjust to the changes.

I still sometimes wonder why we consider the birth of a baby as the end of something, while in reality it is the beginning of something! The beginning of motherhood, a journey so exciting yet so unpredictable!

How, how can new mothers have realistic expectations? By listening, by asking, by reading, by getting as much information as possible! Listening to your experienced mom friend might be a good idea. Yes, every motherhood journey can be different, as it is with every mom, every baby and every family. Still, there is so much we have in common, it just takes a little more attention, a little more faith and a little more support. I am here to inform you and to support you during the beginning of your motherhood journey!

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